just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
