Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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