:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
