hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
