do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
