I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Randomize
