she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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