your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
