There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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