He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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