she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
