i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
