I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
