the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
