My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dick very happy bro
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
