I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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