Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
