im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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