Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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