woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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