She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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