Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
