he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
