You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
