Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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