Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
