It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
