people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
