the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
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