it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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