No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize