How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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