If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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