But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
