Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
