Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
