The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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