loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
