Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My dick has a subreddit
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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