you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
