I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
