Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Shame - the story of my life.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
