we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
