Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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