my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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