Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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