It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
