And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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