As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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