I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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