This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
