Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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